How to network online – find inspiring friends, love, mentors and business partners

Networking is a very misunderstood term. Most people think that it’s just about business – but your networking skills can even mean the difference between a sad and lonely life, and becoming rich and happy.

Today we will teach you how we have found:
– business partners
– new clients
– friends for life
– and even love by simple techniques that are easy to learn.

And stick with us to the end, because we will share with you how to write the perfect email if you want to find a mentor or get your dream job.


Networking is a very misunderstood term. Most people think that it’s just about business – but your networking skills can even mean the difference between a sad and lonely life, and becoming rich and happy.

Today we will teach you how we have found:

  • business partners
  • new clients
  • friends for life
  • and even love by simple techniques that are easy to learn.

And stick with us to the end, because we will share with you how to write the perfect email if you want to find a mentor or get your dream job.

The topic of today is How to network online and how to find inspiring friends.

We have split the episode into four topics:

  1. What does “networking” even mean, and why should you do it?
  2. How to use social media for networking?
  3. How to build a networking machine that works while you sleep?
  4. How to write the perfect email to get a job or a mentor?

With these four topics, you will be able to learn how to network online and how to find inspiring friends.

Today’s episode is a personal development episode, where Erik Bergman and Emil Ekvardt explore topics about how to grow as a person and get a better focus.

We are both personal development junkies and spend many hours every week sharing our ideas and reading about new things. This episode is great for you who want to learn about our latest perspective.

We share lots of personal stories, talk about how it applies in our lives, and where we have learned it from.

In the first topic, we talk about how networking is a misunderstood term. What the differences are between networking wide and networking deep. How Erik started by networking very wide in his teenage years and how that has given a foundation for deep relationships today. It started with Erik asking himself “How to network online?” and “How to find inspiring friends?”

In the second topic, we talk about what the easiest way to start networking online is. How you can use the social media traffic of big accounts to get yourself out there and find more people to inspire and that can be inspired by you. There are some tricks that surprisingly few are using that we will teach you.

In the third topic, we are building networking machines that network for us. Once again we are utilizing social media but this time we teach you how to use your own account to find people with similar interests and make them come to you – a crucial part of how to network online and how to find inspiring friends.

In the fourth and final topic, we dive into what might be the most important part. How to write a perfect email that makes someone wants to hire you, be your mentor, or even your business partner. Very few people know how to write great emails, so we will give you a step by step formula.

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[00:00:00] Networking is a very misunderstood term because most people think that it’s just about business, but in reality it’s something much bigger than that because your networking skills can mean the difference between having a sad and lonely life and having a rich and happy life surrounded by wonderful people.

[00:00:21] This is becoming great dotcom podcast and definitely click subscribe and like this episode, because today we’re talking about networking, a skill that can only allow you to grow your business, find new clients, find friends for life and who knows, maybe even love with some simple techniques that are easier to follow.

[00:00:42] And stick with us to the end of this episode, because we’re going to tell you exactly how to write and structure an email if you want to find your dream mentor or your perfect job, how to do it in specific details.

[00:01:01] I want to find friends who are the kind of people that I want to become a very important part of of networking that is the intention to create that inner circle of people that lift you up.

[00:01:18] It’s such a Disney fairy tale that you’re going to meet these kind of people unless your network.

[00:01:46] And I am here with, as always, the founder of, Erik Bergman, and Eric is a special guy who made over 15 million euros before he turned 30 when he founded his previous business, Catina Media, that went from zero to 300 employees in just five years. And on the side of Great Eric is teaching personal development and entrepreneurship to over 200000 followers on Instagram.

[00:02:10] Erik had no my good friend.

[00:02:12] And I’m here with Emil, who is among the smartest people I’ve ever met, and he is the host of this podcast, as well as our other podcast, talks with. And he was the first one joining me in grades about two years ago. And together, we are creating all kinds of content, both this podcast, but for Instagram and YouTube. And he’s my creative sparring partner. I just love learning things with him. How are you today, my good friend?

[00:02:42] I’m excited about talking about networking online. And if you’re new here, this podcast Becoming is the podcast in the world with the most value per minute, at least we think so. Yeah, we’ve had the personal development and entrepreneurship and we plan to accomplish this by spending a lot of time planning these episodes to make sure we don’t have any pointless stories. And we’re also not going to bother you with any advertisement. We think advertisement in podcasts can be pretty annoying. So think of us and our goal to bring the most value per minute of any podcast in the world the next time you’re annoyed by an advertisement in another podcast. And today’s episode is divided into four different topics. In topic number one, we’re going to look at what this networking even mean and why should you do it? In topic two, we’re going to look at how to use social media to network online. In topic three, we’re going to look at how you can set up a networking machine that is networking for you even when you sleep. And in topic four, we’re going to look at something very important, and that is how to write the perfect email so that you can reach your mentors or get a job.

[00:03:59] And before we jump into the good stuff, make sure that you click like and subscribe because you don’t want to miss our future episodes. And let’s start. What does networking even mean and why should you do it? So what do you think about when you hear the word networking?

[00:04:26] I have this distant relative in Gothenburg who’s working in the restaurant business and in the club business. So every time he walks down the main street in Gothenburg, he gets stopped all the time by people that want to interact with him. And he’s a very extroverted guy, very social. So I’m actually more of an introvert myself. So I also I’m not a good networker. I could not really do what this guy is doing.

[00:04:54] Ok, so would you say that networking is just being stopped and or would you say this is what you think about when you hear a good networker that this is the result of being a good networker?

[00:05:03] Yeah, someone that knows everyone. Someone that is really extroverted.

[00:05:08] Ok, so to become a good networker, you picture that you in his case probably works with a lot of people, talk to them, been in nightclubs all the time and gotten to know them that way.

[00:05:18] Yeah, exactly. So what do you see when you think of a strong network?

[00:05:23] I’ve used to think about the word networking as like some events in schools with companies coming to visit and you’re supposed to, like, go there and talk to them a bit like nervously. And later on, I seen it as different business events, people in suits pretending to be the important, like the people who are the good networkers, quote unquote, are the ones who talk to the most people.

[00:05:49] Right. A similar thing. The network is talking with everyone. But how do you see networking today sees very differently.

[00:05:59] And you can start by just addressing that extroverted thing. I don’t think it’s important to be extroverted at all, to be a good network. I think there are tons of ways to be good at networking that doesn’t require extroversion at all. But if we stop addressing what I believe the word networking means, or at least should mean, I’m not sure what the technical definition in the dictionary is. But for me, networking is making friends and building relationships rather than something that necessarily has to do with business transactions. And this could be in business. I like to see it as building friends with an intentional interest. So, for example, I can make friends within my business field and that will be networking that way because I have that intention. I can make friends that are good public speakers and that’s my intentions. It’s it’s a little bit different from just making friends because that can be pretty random, but it’s still more about making friendships and building relationships than it is about getting to, well, finding just business transactions and getting a job or clients.

[00:07:14] Right. So the main difference between just meeting people and having fun and getting friends and networking is that now you’re looking for people with a specific interest that can match with your interests.

[00:07:27] Yeah, exactly. And that can be the foundation then of going deeper and building something real.

[00:07:33] Right. So what other intentions can there be behind networking?

[00:07:38] I believe you can look at networking from from two perspectives. And I think the best place to start with networking is thinking widely. And so, for example, when I was 18, 19, I fell in love with the game of poker. I was playing poker all the time and I wanted to get to know poker players because most friends didn’t play poker. So I was spending a lot of time online in various poker forums. And everyone who was in there was a poker player and I made friends with several of them, you know, and others. That’s how we met many years ago. And it became I didn’t build very deep relationships then and there, but I got to know tons of people who shared the same interests. And me and to me then that’s the difference between just making friends in a bar where I might start talking to a poker player, but also maybe someone who is into football or fashion or whatever. But on a poker forum, everyone is into poker. So it becomes a very good place to start. That kind of. Yeah, I like to see it as wide networking, just throwing out hooks everywhere. And anyone who catches that hook is going to share your interest for poker in this case.

[00:08:54] Right. And it’s probably a lot easier to meet people that you’re really going to click with in that kind of environment. I mean, you and I met when we planned this episode, we looked at the first message you and I ever sent each other back in 2007.

[00:09:08] And it was a douche bag, by the way. I was. He was so we were on this poker forum. This is in 2007, and he was much better at poker with me and he knew it so and I kind of tried to be friendly. I kind of just. You suck pushed me away. Thank you, buddy.

[00:09:26] But what you did is that you built a wide network of a lot of poker players, and these people had a lot in common with you. Maybe they were competitive, maybe they were entrepreneurial minded, maybe they had a lot of energy. Maybe they were risk takers. So then you could use that network to later form deeper bond bonds with people, which is the second part of networking, which is to network or build relationships more deeply. And you talk a bit about that.

[00:09:52] It’s I think this is probably the most misunderstood part of networking that at least when I hear the word networking, I think of pretty superficial contacts, like, how can I do business with this person? And to me, the most important part about networking is starting with those superficial contacts to find out they like golden nuggets of people.

[00:10:15] And I mean, when I first met you, I had to like man crush on you like 13 years ago. It wasn’t reciprocated. So it took a long time to make you my friend. But it’s just by finding them these wide the wide circle of people and then see, OK, this is someone I really want to be friends with. And I truly believe in the saying that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. I think there is a lot of truth to that. So if you are intentional in your networking or your friendship building, you can go out and say, OK, I want to find friends who are the kind of people that I want to become or at least who are on the way and the journey to become the kind of people that I want to become. So I think that’s a very important part of of networking. That is the intention to create that inner circle of people that lift you up.

[00:11:14] Yeah, and I think. It’s such a Disney fairy tale that you’re going to meet these kind of people unless you network, it’s like if you want to find a girlfriend or a boyfriend, a good way to do that is to go on a lot of dates. Right. And then you have more to choose from. But the Disney fairytale that you will just meet the perfect person or the perfect friend or the perfect business partner if you don’t meet a lot of people, I think is a fairy tale.

[00:11:40] Yeah, for sure. I think most so if I look back in most of my childhood friends, they became my friends because we went to the same school or we were neighbors, we were playing the same soccer team. But this is a way of finding those intentional relationships that really matters where you can find people who are on the same path in life and not by accident, actually, by my skill and.

[00:12:07] An important thing to highlight here as well is that if you just have those people around you, I believe that you have the opportunity to completely change your life. But without those people is really hard. It’s really hard to change your life and be really into personal development or business or public speaking or whatever if you are alone. But if you’re surrounded by people, who goes into those topics with passion, who are doers, who wants to learn more things and don’t want to spend every Friday drinking and every Saturday hungover, I think that’s the difference between failure and success in so many occasions.

[00:12:46] I truly believe in finding those intentional friendships. I believe a question that. Well, the question that I actually get quite a lot when I talk about finding intentional friendships is do I really have to break up with my other friends or I like my friends, they’re good people. And before moving on, I just want to say you don’t necessarily need to break up with friends. You don’t need to, like, stop hanging out with them all completely. But I think that you owe it to yourself to start getting those really those friendships that really mean a lot for your future life. And the more time you spend with them, you can still spend some time with your old friends, don’t break up with them and constantly look for friends that wants to accomplish the same thing that you do. So that makes sense.

[00:13:33] It makes sense. And thank you for bringing that up. I think that’s a common fear to the idea of networking and building a new social circle. So thank you for bringing that up. And let’s move on to topic number two, how to use social media for networking. OK, so networking online in social media, just writing to random people online, can that really lead to somewhere meaningful?

[00:14:09] Well, otherwise we wouldn’t be doing this episode. So, yes, it can. I mean, just off the top of my head, I can tell you lots of different scenarios that have happened thanks to social media in my Instagram profile alone. And that’s to other people like Korem, for example, my assistant now, who I’m speaking to almost on a daily basis. He helps me out with so many things. And I believe that he has learned a lot of things from working with me. He just messaged me on Instagram one day and we started working together.

[00:14:41] Same thing like Ryan is another guy who comes from my comments. He has been setting up a Facebook group of the like the most active people in the comments on my page. And I think there are like six, seven hundred people in that Facebook group now where he moderates and deals and talks to people. We have another guy. He actually met Love in my Facebook page, his girlfriend. They met through the comment section on my page. And Martin, a fourth guy, he’s now working and helping out the guy in grade with with SEO and learning a lot of things become his like apprentice. And all of these comes from strangers talking to strangers in in just a comment on an Instagram section and writing DM’s to each other.

[00:15:24] Right. So obviously, some life changing things can happen if you do this right. But I guess most people are not really understanding how how to do this efficiently. How can someone get good at networking and social media?

[00:15:38] So the first thing to figure out is like where to do this, because it depends a little bit about you’re interested in. I mean, take poker, for example. We started in a poker forum and I’m not sure how big poker forums are these days. Maybe there are poker groups on Facebook where if you want to find poker players, you need to be where the poker players are, which is probably not on Instagram, for example. So you want to try start by finding where are the people doing this? And this could be on forums. It can be on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube channels. Twitter go out and find people. So you start by like knowing where to dig. And there isn’t like one single platform that’s best for everything. And you don’t need to be on all the platforms, be where you enjoy being. But I think that’s that’s the most important thing to you to go fish where there is your kind of fish in the pond.

[00:16:28] If that makes sense, that makes sense. Yeah. So, OK, let’s say I’m interested in entrepreneurship and I want to catch the business fish. Where should I go. Fish.

[00:16:41] Good choice. Yeah. Well let’s take my my Instagram page, for example, and look at what these people have been doing that have gotten all of these benefits out of it. The first thing is that they’ve been like the positive guy in the comments often, like just writing nice things about the content, but also writing nice things to the other people who have been commenting, asking them questions, making them feel seen and heard. And I noticed that I see who is the most active people. I see these people interacting with each other and helping each other out. And then these people have messaged me somehow or I’ve actually messaged them because they did something that’s really good.

[00:17:20] And that’s kind of how the conversation started, just by being the positive kind of wind in the comment section and just interact with all kinds of people.

[00:17:31] Right. So some I just I guess so many people message you and you don’t really have time to answer everyone that you really prioritize, people that you see. You have already been active in your comments, been having a positive energy. But at the same time, isn’t this kind of obvious that you should be like active and passive positive in the comments?

[00:17:53] It might be obvious, but I’m surprised how few take advantage of this. So I have two hundred plus thousand followers on Instagram and there’s only like.

[00:18:05] 10, 20 people who I would like regularly recognized for doing this are two hundred thousand. I mean, we’re down to zero point one percent of people that, in my experience, take advantage of this and they have gotten to know each other. A lot of good things have happened from that. So I think that.

[00:18:23] Very few actually do this, very few engage, which means that if you just choose to engage, you are already standing out. I know. Well, look at yourself, for example. How much time have you spent on on YouTube, learning Photoshop, for example, and how often have you left the comment after?

[00:18:43] Have you been the positive guy on YouTube or wherever? I must say, I. I plan to change my life after recording this episode, because you had me convinced when we recorded this, I haven’t been networking it nearly as well as I could have.

[00:19:00] He has almost everyone just watches videos and just watches Instagram. Very, very few comments.

[00:19:08] So even though it might sound obvious that if you are the positive guy, that’s a good thing. But it’s so much better than I believe that people understand because there are so few that actually take that step and just talk to people, ask questions, be helpful, be positive, share the material. Because whenever these people that I’ve seen 20 times in my comments, then send me a message a day like, hey, I recognize this guy, I want to give extra value and attention to them. And I do. So, I mean, that’s how you do if you recognize someone in a party, that’s the first person you’re going to talk to, probably unless there is a really cute girl that is more interesting. But that’s pretty much how things happen, that by just being active, you stand out and the other people that are active will notice you as well. So you will make friends with the most active, most curious, most interested people.

[00:20:01] And that’s how this community have kind of shaped around me on my social media platform. And just having those four people mentioned, they’re having big impact on their lives to do so.

[00:20:14] Someone found a girlfriend in your underwear?

[00:20:17] Yeah, I love this story, though. Ali is a wonderful guy and I’ve been talking to him on Instagram for, I don’t know, six months or so and. Yeah, a month, I think it’s like a month, a few months ago, he sent me a video question and I answered that in a video and turned that into a post where he asked me something and I replied and did a video about it. And then some girls started writing in the comments about this video and he started writing with her and then they started drawing on it. And he was so fascinated with how similar they were, how much they wanted to do the same things in life. And now he has such a major crush on her. He’s so cute. And I hope I can say this. I know you’re publicly very tough with her. So if you’re listening, I hope I’m not spoiling your love. I’m pretty sure I don’t. But it said they found each other. They’re not even from the same country. And now they’re talking all the time and he’s so up in it. And just thanks to them meeting in a pretty special place about personal development, about entrepreneurship, about growth, they already have these big things in common.

[00:21:28] While if they met in the bar, they they wouldn’t have had that kind of filter on before they were much more likely to be different people.

[00:21:37] It’s really cool to think about how much better your intimate relationships can be, be that a girlfriend or a best friend if you share these core interests. And just that in itself, I think makes it worth just putting in a little seat. Just a little comment. I know I’m going to start doing that way more frequently after this episode.

[00:22:01] That’s perfect. So let’s move on to the next topic. How do you build a networking machine online that works while you sleep?

[00:22:20] There is a disgusting smell coming from an office, and this is a regular office, a shared office space in Stockholm, in one room there are is a company doing business card. And in one room there is a company doing some kind of textile products. But in one office, the smallest one comes screams of excitement and despair, and that is where the disgusting smell is coming from. And when you go in, you see five young guys sitting in front of very tight together in front of computers and probably drinking Coca-Cola and farting.

[00:23:02] And what does this what the office has to do with networking online?

[00:23:06] Well, this was our first poker office when we had just turned 19. I rented this office for some friends. It was six square meters. And I took in four other poker players that would share this space with me. And what does it has to do with networking online? Well, the office was small, but we started creating a poker blog that turned really big. And that is how you and I got to know each other. And that’s how I met a lot of my poker friends.

[00:23:36] You started a poker blog with the people that you shared the office with.

[00:23:39] Yeah, exactly. And our goal was just to entertain ourselves. We wrote about funny things that happen in the office and our hands where we won or lost a lot of money. We posted our results and just. Yeah, just talked, talked yet.

[00:23:53] So was it something that was easy to start or did you need the knowledge skills to do it?

[00:23:57] Yeah, it was a poker forum, so it was similar to writing on Reddit or a Facebook group. So yeah, we just got started and that’s the way that we got to know. A lot of poker players are on Twitter.

[00:24:08] Ok, so that became like a networking machine that were 24/7 for you guys to meet new people, me, among others.

[00:24:16] Yeah, you included. And it was such a good opportunity to start meeting these poker players. I remember we were going to a poker tournament in Gran Canaria and we said to all of the followers to this thread, anyone who wants to come can come live with us. So we rented a villa. We ended up being between 20 and 25 guys.

[00:24:33] I think staying in this big villa for the poker tournament, that’s a really cool, like networking machine thing. He said today. You’re not using you’re not playing poker and you’re not building a poker. Like, what are you doing to build a networking machine today?

[00:24:49] Right. So instead, I would love to meet people that are interested in personal development and entrepreneurship. So I’m riding on that those topics on my YouTube channel and on Instagram. And I don’t have the same resources as you. And 200000 followers have a tiny account, maybe eight hundred followers and I post once per week with the main intention of just letting people know I exist and I am alive and I want to start conversations. I think the main purpose of my Instagram account is to make it easy for people who are into the same interests to say hi to me.

[00:25:25] Ok, so what do you think is is important when you’re running an Instagram account for this purpose?

[00:25:31] It has to be fun. My main mistake when I started is that I tried to post too many things.

[00:25:38] Too much effort has to be fun to you. You mean it doesn’t need to be fun content. You need to enjoy it.

[00:25:44] Yeah. If it’s anxiety producing that. Oh damn it. I haven’t posted five posts per week now then it’s. Yeah. It’s going to lose the benefits. OK, what else is important if you’re going to use it for networking once inside. I have had that you help me understand is that Instagram is kind of like the old school business card that you go on hand out to people, but it’s an online business card. So if I meet someone at an event, I might add them on Instagram instead of giving them my card. So it becomes like my house on the Internet.

[00:26:16] Ok, so then it’s important that people come and see it actually understands what you’re interested in and what you’re doing. So it makes sense to post about personal development in these things then. And so when people go and see it, that’s what they know that you’re interested in. And if they share those interests, it’s more likely that they will reach out.

[00:26:36] Yeah, exactly. So you don’t want to post about anything you don’t want to post. But sometimes I post a picture of my mom’s dog, Oscar, and sometimes maybe if something random. But a lot of my posts are about the topics that I am interested in because it’s those kind of people I want to meet through my Instagram.

[00:26:54] Ok, so some posts can be just a dog, but it’s important that some posts are not just about a dog, because if you’re only posting pictures of of your dog, it’s going to be really hard for someone who’s into personal development to kind of approach you and say, hey, I’m also interested in this or this was a good post other than, hey, cute dog.

[00:27:13] Yeah, exactly. There’s not the same reason for someone that shares my interest to say hi to me. Right? Yeah. OK, so don’t focus on growing your followers. Just practice sharing what you are interested in. It doesn’t even have to be good. The main intention is just to show others that this is what I’m interested in. I am learning. Yeah, it doesn’t have to be good. Just show what you like.

[00:27:39] The purpose doesn’t need to be I should grow my followers or I should make money from this, it’s more like this is a slow and steady way of me for improving my life and my relationships over time.

[00:27:52] I love that it’s a way for me to improve my relationships over time. And you said something to me when I ask you did it on your Instagram that inspired me is that you wrote on your Instagram. Hey, I’m new at this. I’m learning. Sorry, guys, so that my colors are off. I don’t know anything about graphic design. I know you did it just to lower the pressure to yourself so that you wouldn’t get overwhelmed.

[00:28:17] Yes, I was posting really bad content in the beginning and I was still nervous about posting it. And it took a lot of pressure away from me by saying, hey, guys, I know this sucks. I’m posting it anyway. I’m here to learn. And I was posting a lot of code in the beginning and I posted a similar post saying, hey, guys, I know you probably annoyed of me posting so much, but I’m having fun. And it it it felt easier to do it after that. It felt like I, I didn’t. So I think the one thing that I’ve been scared of in my life is for people to look at me and say, oh, he think he is cool when he’s doing this or that in the kind of judgmental tone and by saying, hey guys, I know I’m not cool. It’s it takes away that pressure of being able to post something that that’s an important step for me early on.

[00:29:10] Yeah. And I think the reason you have managed to keep it up for so long is that you are focusing on how can I enjoy this process? How can I have fun? How can I remove the things that is causing anxiety?

[00:29:23] Yeah, it’s been a big and important step and just posting as much as I kind of want to post.

[00:29:29] So how would you summarize what we just talked about in this topic?

[00:29:34] So I think that it’s essential to I like what you said, building a business card online or building. I think you’ve used this first before as well, building a home online so people can come and kind of visit your part of the Internet. And I like looking at it as a way of reminding the people around you what it is that you’re doing and what you’re interested in and making it easy for them to kind of start a conversation with you or maybe see what you’re doing. And you can kind of ping everyone in your friendship group at once and people you haven’t met before. But I might have following you if you’re interested in some seminar and you post about going there, then there might be someone else who wants to go there and suddenly you have someone to go with and you share the same interests. So I think I like those aspects of building this kind of networking machine and your home online or business card. And if I’m taking away what I believe is the most important thing here is to do something, to not just scroll social media and just look at what other things are doing, people are doing, but actually start posting and at least post some things about what you’re interested in, not just the picture of your dog, not just a picture of you with your new clothes or whatever it is or the party or whatever. Looks cool, but actually daring to share. Hey, I’m interested in poker or hey, I’m interested in personal development or whatever it might be to kind of give that foundation of this. And also important to remember that it doesn’t have to be something flashy and advanced.

[00:31:15] It’s often more inspiring to see someone, hey, this person is on the same level as I am rather than, hey, this person is so much better than I am. I remember when you started this poker diary on this blog, you were just one level above me playing poker. So the things you were writing about, I could relate to. But if you would have been ten levels above me, I probably wouldn’t have dared to write to you because then you would have been intimidating to me. Then you would be this big shot professional said might actually be better to not be so advanced because you’re going to inspire the people on your level rather than people on some other level.

[00:31:55] So those it’s a vast majority of takeaways and things that I, I see as being important here. But all in all, just get started, post something and feel free to copy what things that just inspire you, like take quotes from someone you like. This was something Tony Robbins or Tim Ferris that and I liked it and just share that. You don’t even need to invent the stuff yourself all the time. You can just share good stuff. And that’s also a way of reminding people about this is my interest and this is what I enjoy doing.

[00:32:30] I think that was a valuable and spot on summary. So let’s move on to topic number four, where we will talk about a very. Important and underestimated ability, which is how do you write the perfect email to find a job or a mental.

[00:32:55] Last weekend, I was in a bar and at the end of this bar, I saw a woman in a red dress and she looked gorgeous and I was a little bit nervous, but I said I would go and talk with her seventh grader and talk to her on the shoulder. You know, that feeling in your stomach when you’re about to go outside of your comfort zone. And I said, hi, my name is Amal. And then I started telling her about who I am, what to do. I started talking about my interests and I started talking about my day. And then I told her about my life. But before I got there, she left and didn’t want to keep talking with me. I don’t know what did I do wrong?

[00:33:40] Ok, so the reason why we’re sharing the story, which Beyoncé and his girlfriend, if you’re listening, is actually not true, is that it’s about writing emails. It’s actually pretty often this happens to me. I get an email from someone I’ve never spoken to and they start writing a long email about themselves, about their interests, about what to do. And somewhere halfway through the email, I lose interest and I stop reading.

[00:34:08] So an equivalent, the girl just walks away so that it’s super common mistake. And that’s why we believe it’s so important to highlight how to write good e-mails that make people want to answer.

[00:34:21] Right. So writing too long and too much about yourself is a bad move then. But how does a good email look like?

[00:34:31] You could still think about this, like meeting someone in a bar going up and just talking about yourself is not going to work. Instead, you want to be talking about the other person.

[00:34:42] So the best emails I get are the emails that start with like, Hi Eric, I’ve been following you on Instagram. I saw this post and it really resonated with me in this way and it made me change my life like this. So what happened there is that someone says they start already talking about me, which I like. I like me and talk about some specific thing that I’ve done and it talk about how specifically that have impacted their lives. So it means that I’ve become very important in this email already. Now, while if someone says, hi, this is me, I do this, this isn’t this. Nothing is about me and this email. So it’s very easy for me to kind of lose interest.

[00:35:25] So that’s where where I would start. And if you were doing an email to someone who is big on social media, have lots of followers, something like that. Another phrase that I appreciate when people are using is like, OK, I understand that you’re a busy person. You don’t even need to answer this email. I’m just happy for you read it because it makes me feel like respected because I get a lot of emails and very little time. So I know that if someone writes a sentence like that, they’re not going to add in a lot of like, meaningless stuff, things that doesn’t add value because they they respect me. So I feel respected in a way that wouldn’t.

[00:36:04] I mean that. You actually might not answer when you would have answered otherwise.

[00:36:11] I mean, it’s a fair question and I actually feel more engaged with a person who wrote that because I feel that they respect me and I feel that they care about me. So I would say it increases my probability of answering. It increases the probability that I will engage with this person because I can see that they they already understand my position and they don’t ask for anything. They’re just happy for being there.

[00:36:39] Right. So and that asking is key, I think, because if someone writes a long e-mail to you about themselves, they’re asking for your time and you don’t know them yet. There hasn’t been any relationship building. You don’t have any rapport. So it’s weird asking someone to do something for you when you don’t know them.

[00:36:59] Exactly. And sometimes it takes five, 10 minutes to listen to to an email or even worse, when someone sends a long voice message and I’ve never spoken to them before, it’s like, hey, I can’t even read this quickly. So I never listen to long voice messages when people send me because I don’t have the time for that. So start there like addressing. Why do you reach out to someone? What have they done? So you talk about them and how has that impacted your life then? Address. OK, I don’t want to take up a lot of your time. I respect that. And then it’s a good time to talk briefly about yourself.

[00:37:33] Explain a little bit about who you are, what you want to accomplish or what dreams you have. But here’s what’s important to not try to be big.

[00:37:45] Don’t try to make yourself sound cool. Don’t talk a lot about your accomplishments. It’s important when you send an email to someone that you make the other person, the person who reads the mail, feel like they are big and impressive because they’re going to be more likely to want to engage with you than if you make them feel bad and small in a way that makes sense.

[00:38:05] Yeah, but isn’t it important to show that you are somebody, let’s say that they want to reach out to you, to someone that has a high social status? Why would they read a message from someone that doesn’t have a big job or a big title or some kind of influence?

[00:38:23] I think the important thing here is to to see how much value you’re giving to someone by just giving your appreciation like. The times I feel the most appreciated is when I have helped someone, preferably a young person, to make their lives better. I remember this email message I got on Facebook two years ago from a 17 year old guy who had seen me on a stage earlier, and he said that he came up to me afterwards, like, OK, you’re so rich. Why don’t you have expensive labels on your clothes? And I like I don’t care about that, really, I want people to see me for me, I want to be proud of who I am, not what I’m wearing.

[00:39:14] And we had a conversation about that, it wasn’t more about that then and then like a year later, he wrote me a message and say, Hey, Eric, I just wanted to thank you before we met, all I cared was about expensive clothes. And now I’ve just given away my sunglasses, even though they were expensive because I don’t want to be seen for expensive clothes. I want to be seen for who I am. And he’s not a big shot guy. He’s in school and still just telling the story. Years since it happened, I still gives me goose bumps. So that’s how powerful something can be and. It’s much, much more powerful to show the emotions behind something shows what you impacted someone than show your CV. So I can see that it’s easy to think that it’s important to show who you are, but it’s actually much more important to show what the person who is receiving the email has meant to you. That’s going to make it so much more likely that they will reply.

[00:40:17] So at what point then, do you bring up the purpose for reaching out? Let’s say someone wants to be mentored by you.

[00:40:26] So personally, I believe that it’s it’s a really horrible decision to ask someone to be a mentor in the first e-mail, it’s hands on. It’s much better to try and just start a conversation. So let’s say let’s use the woman in the bar analogy again that you might want to start talking to her. You don’t want to ask her out on a date in the first two minutes. Instead, you want to have a conversation going back and forth and maybe an hour later you ask her what she’s going to do next weekend or whatever. And it’s the same thing here in an email that you might just want to get a reply, not talk about investing in a company, not talk about mentorship, not talking about a job.

[00:41:04] Just see, OK, can they reply to it’s better than to ask the small question or maybe not even ask anything at all and see if they reply anyway. But if you’re going to ask something, don’t ask for a lunch, don’t ask for a big commitment, ask a small question, whatever that can be. So you start the conversation so I can see the people that I’ve been engaging with the most who have sent me emails are the people who didn’t ask me for anything early on. And then I became their mentor without them even asking me. I’m talking to several people on a daily basis helping them out, but they never asked me to do that. It just happened because they started conversations with me, so.

[00:41:44] When you write an e-mail to someone like this, regardless if it is for a job or for mentorship or anything else, make the purpose of the first e-mail to start a conversation, not to get what it is that you want. And same thing with a girl in a bar. Make that first interaction about having an interaction, not about marrying her or making her the mother of your children.

[00:42:09] Muh. Like the mayor approach.

[00:42:14] Yeah, go knock on her shoulder and see if she wants to marry you. Tell me about that success rate that’s low.

[00:42:21] But I know your your assistant now, Kurume, who finds you, he found you on Instagram and is sent to an email out of the blue.

[00:42:29] So that’s actually let me let me read you that email to give you some perspective. So Korem is now my assistant and I’m definitely his mentor. We talk on a regular basis and I’m helping him out with all kinds of things, and he’s helping me out with all kinds of things. And about a year ago, he sent an email or actually a message a day on Instagram.

[00:42:52] We’ve never spoken before. And he wrote, Hi, Eric. I came across you on the Web a while ago and your success fascinated me. The fact that you achieved financial independence and created several million dollar business before turning 30 is incredibly incredible and worth acknowledging. You motivate me and inspired me to be like you and accomplish success. I would love the opportunity to work and learn from you. Thus, I’m reaching out to see if you have any opportunities within your team for remote assistant Traini available at this moment, I’m a committed individual with entrepreneurial spirit and creative problem solving skills who is eager to learn and make mistakes. Thank you in advance, Pesquería said in this message early on. The first thing he says is that he found me on the web and he is fascinated by the success that he’s talking about me. He wants to acknowledge the success and he says now switch gears and talk about him. And he says, you motivate me and inspire me to be like you. So he’s already talking about how I have impacted him. And here he’s actually coming to how he’s asking me for something early on, which I would have waited with. But still, he’s not really asking for big things. He wants to be an assistant or a trainee and just asking if there is something available. And he says that is the only thing he says about himself more or less, is that he is a committed individual with an entrepreneurial spirit and creative problem solving skills who is eager to learn and make mistakes.

[00:44:24] I like that part in how he describes himself because he’s not saying I, I worked at this or this company or I had this and this education. He’s talking about his personality.

[00:44:34] Yeah. So there’s nothing here that makes him sound big and impressive. And I brought him back after this and the only thing I told him was more or less OK, answer these three questions. What specifically made you want to work with me? What are you hoping to gain by being my assistant and what kind of tasks would you like to do? And then he wrote an amazing reply to that email as well. And I’m not going to continue that journey, but that’s how he got the job. And he has been working with me ever since.

[00:45:09] And it all came from that first message. And I get messages from people who wants to work for me all the time. So many people reach out to me and. Almost no one does it in a good way, this was exceptional. Most people, right? Hi, Eric. Can you be or can you meet my mentor? It’s like, no. Hi, Eric. You have a job for me? Like, no. Or they write a ten minute long email talking about their own business and your own business and their own success. And I’m like, yeah, I don’t have ten minutes to read this. So this is such a crucial skill to learn. And just like we spoke earlier about social media and how very, very few people does social media well, like zero point one percent of my followers do it well. And I’d say that zero point one percent of the emails I get are people actually understood how to write an email like this and do it well.

[00:46:03] Yeah, I think it’s a crucial skill, and I’m definitely excited myself to start doing this more already started doing it last week and I’m having a lot of fun with it. So is there some last piece of value you want to add before we give it the last treat that we’re always given this podcast?

[00:46:21] Yeah. So for you listening, if you want to make your life better, if you want to change things around you, then one of the best ways to do that is to listen to podcasts or audio books, especially like on your way to work or school. If you’re going by car or bus or subway and you have that 30 minutes an hour, use that time to listen to something.

[00:46:46] And we have done 80 to 83 episodes of the Become a great podcast now. So if you had listened to all of those, I promise you, there is so much value and so many opportunities for you to change your life.

[00:46:58] So think about us when you’re stepping on that path, on that subway, on that train, in that car, and pick up your phone and listen and start changing your life.

[00:47:08] Yeah, I really enjoyed that advice. And this is also a good time to mention that we are going to change the structure of this podcast a bit from now on. We are going to release one episode every other week instead of one episode per week. But don’t worry, we are still going to put in the same amount of time into creating this podcast. We just want to make sure the quality is really high and that you get a high value per minute.

[00:47:34] Yeah, that’s actually the reasons why we kind of make less podcasts, is that we want to put in more hours into every podcast. We realize it’s not possible to do them as good as we want to do them and still do one per hour, one per week. I don’t know how many hours we put into planning this one, but there are many hours before we manage to create that.

[00:47:54] Yeah. So we half two episodes, but same kind of effort. And again, we’re not making any money from creating this podcast. So if someone has gotten value out of this and they want to help us somehow, what is something they can do?

[00:48:09] Yeah. If you feel that you’ve gotten value from this episode and you want to pay us back, then the first thing to understand is that we really need you to grow this podcast. Without you, we’re not going to grow. So first and foremost, make sure you click subscribe. If you haven’t already done that, that makes the world of difference. It’s like you voting for us in the YouTube and podcast algorithms and you show them that we are doing something well. So please click subscribe. And if you’re already a part of our becoming great dot com family and you’re already a subscriber, then the best thing you can do is to think about someone you know who would like to be a better networker, someone you think that would benefit from this episode and then this episode to them, because that’s also a vote on us. That YouTube and podcasts going to see that people come in from different places and they start listening to our podcast thanks to recommendations. And that helps us to kind in all the top list and actually get out there. So by doing that, you will inspire us to keep doing this, keep giving value without asking for any money, without doing any commercials or anything else just because we want to make the world a better place.

[00:49:28] I’m excited for next week, Erik.

[00:49:29] No in two weeks. Let’s see what we come up with. Yeah. Thank you for today. Two good weeks.