The most important social skill EP2

There are four mistakes that almost everyone does in conversations. They are easy to avoid but most people are not even aware of them. You are most likely doing them as well – and they will lower your chances of happy relationships and successful careers. Today we are diving into how to develop the most important social skill by avoiding these mistakes.

Summary

There are four mistakes that almost everyone does in conversations. They are easy to avoid but most people are not even aware of them. You are most likely doing them as well – and they will lower your chances of happy relationships and successful careers. Today we are diving into how to develop the most important social skill by avoiding these mistakes.

Today’s episode has been split up in four topics:

  1. How do you stop making these mistakes?
  2. What are the two most important mistakes to avoid?
  3. Why giving advice at the wrong time is a huge mistake?
  4. How do you stop making these mistakes?


Today’s episode is a personal development episode, where Erik Bergman and Emil Ekvardt explore topics about how to grow as a person.

We are both personal development junkies and spend many hours every week sharing our ideas and reading about new things. This episode is great for you who want to learn about our latest perspective. We share lots of personal stories, talk about how it applies in our lives, and where we have learned it from.

  1. We start by looking into how Erik was called “The radio” when he was a teenager and why he was talking so much. What were then underlying factors that made him be a person that always had something to say.

We are also looking into what it feels like to be around someone that talks a lot and shows how it will impact your life if you are a person who does.

  1. In the second topic, we look into a painful memory from Erik’s childhood and how he early on learned that he was doing social mistakes without fully understanding what they were. The look at the two most important mistakes to avoid, mistakes that we both have done over and over again in our lives and that we are now working on fixing.
  2. In the third section we end up in a painful situation were we look into how Emil dealt with Erik’s sadness when he had broken up with his girlfriend three years ago. Emil did some big mistakes that he wished that he would have avoided and we are looking at what he could have done instead.
  3. In the fourth part, we talk about where do you start? What are the steps to take after this episode to make sure that you will quickly become a better listener, develop the most important social skill, and be more popular in social situations?

Social media channels:
http://linktr.ee/smilingerik
http://linktr.ee/emil.e

Transcript

[00:00:04] Get to know yourself better. I think that’s something that a lot of people talk about in social media. It’s important to get to know yourself without really explaining what that means. And I’d say that this is a really good way of getting to know yourself better understanding like, OK, how am I actually interacting in conversations? I believe a lot of these social behaviors is automatic habits.

[00:00:49] Today, you’re going to learn about the four biggest social mistakes that me and Eric used to do all the time in conversations, and we learned about these mistakes three years ago and changing our habits has literally changed our lives. And if you are new here, Erik, is Erik Bergman. He’s the founder of Great,com or company that will give away 100 percent of its profits to help the environment. And Erik made over 50 million euros before he turned 30 when he founded his previous company, Catina Media, that went from zero to 300 employees in just five years. And on the side of great, he’s teaching entrepreneurship and personal development to his over 250000 Instagram followers. Eric, are you as excited as I am?

[00:01:48] I’m giggling, excited, and I’m really excited. I think this episode is going to be amazing. And I’m here with Emil and thank you for that wonderful introduction. And Emily, the host of this podcast, as well as our other charity podcast. And it was the first one joining me. And great, I’ve come about two years ago now, and it’s also one of the smartest people I know and the most creative mind. I just love learning things together with my sparring partner in creating this podcast. But also when I do things for Instagram and Twitter and everywhere else, it’s just so much more fun creating it with it. So how are you today, my good friend?

[00:02:28] I am excited because I think this might be one of the better episodes we have done so far. I love what we have planned here and I’m really looking forward to our conversation about conversational skills. And hey, if you’re new here and to this podcast, our goal, our mission is to be the podcast in the whole world that gives you the most value per minute that you listen in the field of entrepreneurship and personal development. And our plan to achieve this is to be really well structured and make sure we don’t stray off topic and pointless stories to you. And we’re also not going to have any advertisement because we get kind of annoyed when we hear advertisement in other podcasts and we don’t want to waste your time. So if you share that feeling about advertisement, please think of us anytime you’re ever annoyed by advertisement in another podcast and our mission to give you the most value per minute that you listen to us. We have divided today’s episode into four different topics. In the first topic, we are going to look at what is the core reasons why you’re making mistakes and conversations in the first place and how can you change? In the second topic, we are going to look at the two biggest mistakes that we see in conversations. In the third topic, we are going to look at giving advice and why, when it’s done at the wrong time, it can backfire. And in the four topic, we are going to look at how can you stop making all of these mistakes? Let’s begin by looking at the core reasons that you make mistakes in conversations. So, Eric, when you were a teenager, people used to call you the radio. Why was that?

[00:04:28] Good times, it was because I was talking annoyingly much, I presume, weight a lot. And why do you think you were talking a lot? I believe that I just wanted to be part of the group. I believe that I want to show that I had a lot of interesting stories to tell. I wanted to show that I was smart. I want to show how much I knew about things and that I was good at things, and I think all that came from me just wanting to be cool and be a part of the group and kind of prove myself. Yeah. So that’s that was the fundamental reason I wanted to be in the group.

[00:05:14] Right. And being a person that belongs is, of course, a good intention, but because we bring it up as a mistake, I assume that this backfired somehow. What were the negative side effects of you wanting to belong in this way?

[00:05:30] What happened when when anyone talks? A lot, I would say. But let’s look at my case.

[00:05:35] What happened when I talk a lot is that I, I kind of communicate some communicate that I’m not really interested in any other person and their stories because I want to be talking all the time. And when we show that we’re not interested in other people, it will not necessarily like us that much or want to be around us that much because, well, everyone wants to be around people who are interested in them. So I didn’t ask too many questions because asking questions is kind of the opposite of talking. Instead, I went into my own stories. When someone shared a story, I probably interrupted people. I definitely interrupted people a lot because I wanted to look at I wanted to show how smart and interesting I was.

[00:06:23] Right. And then it’s easy to see how that could backfire of your intention to being part of the group.

[00:06:29] Yeah, I think I was doing it completely the wrong way, except I believe that. When we invite other people into a conversation, when we give other people space and when we are genuinely interested in what they have to say, they want to be around us. But I was doing the opposite. I was trying to make them want to be around me by trying to tell all these interesting stories or trying to tell them all these smart facts. But at the end of the day, it was just backfiring because.

[00:06:59] I didn’t show my interest in in the right interest to really the key word here, and we explore this a little bit in the first episode of this three part series. So if you haven’t seen our first episode yet, you should go back one week and check that out before we mentioned there as maybe the most important sentence I ever heard is that it’s better to be interested than being interesting. When I heard of such a huge burden fell off my shoulders because it’s pretty exhausting to try to be interesting in a group.

[00:07:33] That’s actually a very good point. It’s it’s much easier to get interested than to be interesting, to be interesting.

[00:07:40] You need to do all kinds of stuff until it is sure to ask good questions. And being like a magician with card tricks or super cool stories.

[00:07:48] Yeah. And what happens what I completely missed when I was younger was what happens when you are really interesting. You actually make the people around you feel inferior because if you were around someone who is really, really cool, by contrast, you’re going to feel really uncool. And that’s not a nice feeling to have. And I believe that we will be as happy as we make people around us over time.

[00:08:17] And what I mean by that is that the way you make other people feel, the way you will feel and if you’re taking a lot of space in a conversation or you’re doing things that make the people around you feel inferior or not so happy or annoyed, they would probably not want to spend that much time with you or they going to do when they’re annoyed. And you’re going to kind of get a sense to that to. So the key is to get good at making other people feel good and you will feel good, make other people get a lot of limelight in a conversation and let them tell their stories, ask them questions, be interested and. Yeah, it’s going to give such because you’re going to be more popular and more invited to things and happier and enjoy life so much more, and I wish someone would have been able to explain this to teenage me.

[00:09:09] Yeah, it’s so much easier being good at making other people look good than trying to make yourself look good.

[00:09:16] Yeah, so let’s move on to topic two and explore the two biggest mistakes that you want to steer clear of.

[00:09:33] Feel it like a punch in the stomach. OK, it’s it’s guilt or shame coming over me. And. I mean, my my friend’s entrance hole in this house and I’m eight years old and this is one of my oldest memories, and he has just told a story about how it was minus 20 degrees outside when they were out skiing. And I jumped straight into saying, yeah, oh, it was minus twenty six degrees when we were playing a Bande game sports, I was playing and his mother stopped me is like, Eric, you always have to be better than everyone else. And the didn’t quite I just remember that feeling and I still have this very vivid memory of this experience, even though it’s twenty four years ago of me doing something wrong without fully understanding why it was wrong. So what was the mistake I was doing here?

[00:10:41] First of all, I feel for you because there was a mean comment from your friend’s mother. Yeah, but outside of that, the mistake you did in the first place would be to store it up. And he’s telling a story, and now you are telling a more extreme story. What do you think? What do you think happens to him when you start to him?

[00:11:05] I see this a lot, and I did this for a lot of big part of my life later on as well. And I still do it sometimes, I’m afraid. But what happens is basically he’s telling a story that he’s excited about or even proud of, like he’s proud that he’s been out in minus 20 degrees. And my story takes away the attention from him and basically says I’m better than you. It’s pretty much what goes on in this conversation, which his mother picks up on. And he she tries to defend her son in a pretty blunt way. But my guess is that Martin feel unseen in this conversation. He was proud of his story and now suddenly his story is nothing.

[00:11:47] Right, and this story topping from an eight year old is a pretty extreme example, but smaller versions of this is happening all the time and that is happening when we change the topic. And changing the topic in itself is not bad. But when the timing is bad, the other person can feel like what they are excited about or sad about is not that important.

[00:12:10] Yeah, it’s the story. Stopping is one of the worst ways of changing the topic and often have the worst timing. And I dare to say that almost everyone is guilty of this frequently, at least around me. It’s a very common thing.

[00:12:27] So let’s look at a theoretical example that shows a really bad timing for changing the topic. Let’s say I pick you up at the airport and in the car I start talking about this girl that I’m seeing and I’m really excited and I would like to share more. But you don’t pick up on that. And instead, maybe you get a message and start looking at your phone and and start talking about something else or to just change the topic. What do you think would happen then?

[00:12:58] I think this is an interesting thing because it’s subtle. I wouldn’t say that it’s a really bad thing because I think it’s very common. But a good thing here would be to pick up on your tone of voice like it’s clear that you’re excited about this girl. So I. I would want to pick up, like you said, that you really like her and that it’s a sensitive topic in itself. You’re talking about a girl. You’re seeing it’s love and Botticelli’s in the air.

[00:13:23] So a bad move here is to change the topic and start talking about football or picking up my soul as you touch upon. And a good move would be to see those key things like your tone of voice, the words you’re using the topic, and just keep exploring this topic and just asking more and more questions until it feels like you are done sharing about this.

[00:13:47] Right, and meet me in my excitement for, you know, that’s a good point.

[00:13:54] The bad move here is to change the topic and start talking about something else. And I should pick that up because of the tone of voice in these things.

[00:14:03] Right. To have another example.

[00:14:05] So let’s take. OK, let’s let’s use the tools again. Let’s say I’m I’ve been working and I’m I had my my boss has been mean to me and I, I share that story with you. I was like, OK, I feel miserable at work right now. My boss is being a jerk and you start talking about your boss, which ironically is me. You start talking about your boss instead of like exploring me in this. I think that’s a very common way of doing it as well. And instead of going into this conversation, like, OK, why are you feeling miserable? What is he doing? What can you do about it? Or whatever? You just switch and you start talking about your own boss. And I kind of get left hanging because I’ve been opening up about something that’s very real within me.

[00:14:54] Right. So what Adlerstein left behind, does that make you feel?

[00:14:58] I don’t feel important. I don’t feel that you care about me and my story and you might end up talking about that. It’s even worse for you in the office. And I feel story top as well. But just those switches of conversation here is so common and they happen, especially if you were around young Eric, that would have happened all the time because young Eric wanted to tell his stories.

[00:15:21] Right. So what is these two examples have in common?

[00:15:25] And that’s changing the topic at the wrong timing. They would have been so much better just stay on that topic, because that would have created a connection between two people the other person would have seen and valued. And you would have. You’re actually in that moment, you have an opportunity to get to know someone much deeper, you have the opportunity of taking that conversation to a very real place.

[00:15:46] Right. And what I was fishing for with my question is that both of these situations are emotionally charged, meaning that the more emotionally charged a topic is either very high excitement or a big challenge or something difficult, the more important it is to stay on the same topic. I would say it’s so important that if something is really charged, it’s actually real polite to ask for permission before changing the topic, saying it’s OK if we talk about something else. Now, do you feel finished with this?

[00:16:18] Yeah, definitely. I mean, I think we can take this to the extreme and then it will become very obvious that it’s a bad move. Let’s say my dog just died and I tell you, ask me how I am and I start telling you I’m really sad. I’ve been crying all morning because my my dog has died. And you start talking about the party you went to.

[00:16:41] I remember what it was like when my dog died.

[00:16:44] Even that that would be a little bit better, though, than a party. Yeah, but still very annoying. Yeah. Because it’s it’s easy to go there.

[00:16:54] So to have something more you want to add on this topic or can we move on.

[00:16:58] This is one thing that I think a phrase that is good to keep in mind, that when you say that phrase, you can check in with yourself like you’re probably going off the wrong track. And that’s whenever you say things like that reminds me of or. Yeah, about that. And you’re switching the topic then, because then you have been associating whatever someone else is saying and you’re probably going out on your own journey in that conversation and leaving someone behind. So it’s often not the best way of doing that. But we also touched upon when it’s a good time to change the topic. So this is the bad timing once and they’re quite common it would be worth to look for when it’s how do you know that it’s a good time to change the topic?

[00:17:43] Right. I think the opposite is true when there’s no spark, like when there’s, I don’t know, emotional spark or especially when there’s no real interest when, OK, what we’re talking about now is not that interesting to me. Then you can change topic, then you can associate, then you can sort of bring something more interesting to the table.

[00:18:02] So that reminds me of it’s a great move if you feel that there isn’t really any energy in the air. But it’s a horrible move if someone says my dog just died or I’m really in love with this girl or I’m sad at work, I appreciate that distinction.

[00:18:17] So let’s move on to the next topic, which is all about giving advice and how that also can be a huge mistake at the wrong time. When I was around 25, I wanted to do something good for other people, so I sought up a men’s group in Stockholm where men can call in on the telephone and talk about their problems. And when I got there and they had the first education, they said that they have one rule at this place and that is you’re not allowed to give anyone advice. And I remember I never understood that rule, and it was so I felt so limited by it, I couldn’t understand how can I be valuable to anyone if I cannot give them advice? So they’re calling in with problems. Why can’t I give them advice? I couldn’t figure it out.

[00:19:22] What happened in a conversation then?

[00:19:23] What do you think was the purpose of you being there to be a human support to someone you support?

[00:19:31] I think that’s that’s crucial here, that you’re just supposed to be someone listening and hopefully help them feel companionship.

[00:19:42] Yeah, but that companionship seem totally pointless to me at that point because these people are calling in with problems like it could be anything from alcoholism to relationship problems.

[00:19:55] And so can you see today why you weren’t supposed to give advice? Yeah, totally.

[00:20:01] Totally. It’s a huge mistake to give advice. But the fact that I wasn’t even aware of this, I think that says a lot. Yeah.

[00:20:09] And I wish someone could have explained to me then why did you keep doing this, even though you couldn’t give advice?

[00:20:16] No, I went there three or four times and. Yeah, and I actually wasn’t explained really why this was important, so I ended up not coming back.

[00:20:28] Oh, that’s interesting. So that’s a big mistake by not having this very strict rule without really explaining why.

[00:20:38] Yeah. So what would you have like to explain to 25 year old Amell if you were working at that place?

[00:20:45] Let’s let’s take an example from from you and me. And I don’t mean to to put you out there anyway, but yeah. Let’s let’s use that as an example, and I know you’ll be OK with it. So when when I had just broken up with your hand on my my girlfriend, like three, four years ago or something like that, we me and her, we decided to take some time apart and we were going to stay in contact with each other by sending one email back and forth each week. And and I remember when I told you this, we were out walking in Los Angeles.

[00:21:26] How did you feel at this point?

[00:21:28] Yes, I was devastated. Yeah, I was really low. I was sad. I felt that this was also a tough thing. And I remember telling you that we will send emails back and forth and. You thought that was a really crappy idea and you started giving me advice about why that was bad and why I should do something else, and I felt that I had to defend myself. I didn’t feel that. You really listen to why it was important to me, I felt like, OK, I’m really sad here and I’m ending up in a situation where I need to kind of justify why I want to do something. I don’t feel that you were a friend supporting me. It felt more like. And what does it feel like? And I felt that I had to justify myself that you felt that you were smarter than me.

[00:22:32] During this.

[00:22:34] Yeah, yeah, and I think that’s smarter than me is a it’s the same pattern and trying to one thing to give advice and being smart or stereotyping, it’s kind of the same pattern of rather being interesting than interested. Yeah, I want to show that I have important knowledge for you. I actually just want to be included and be a friend with you in that situation. So my intention is good, but it has a huge backfire effect the way I went about it.

[00:23:05] I think that’s a crucial thing to keep in mind here, that the intention is good by giving advice. We want to help other people, but it’s easy to end up. So I just felt stupid or lonely in my feeling there, and, I mean, what what would you have done if that happened today? How would you have interacted in the same situation?

[00:23:26] Right. So I think it’s a huge mistake to give advice to you is that I don’t have all the information. My advice might be totally useless because you may have already thought about it. We might have an even better solution, which was the case. And also, I think you don’t even want to get advice at that point, just want someone that understands your pain.

[00:23:47] I think that’s a crucial part. I want to be in pain at that time. I want so I would just want you to to listen and. Be there with me and maybe asking questions of why I think that’s a good idea or how am I feeling about this and whatever might be around that and. You know, that’s I think that’s what most people look for in most situations, and I can see. How advice becomes tricky that way, because as you say, that the underlying reason why we give advice a lot of time is that we want to kind of switch the attention to how important or how good we are. And that’s what happens, like showing that we’re smart, that we have value to give, but it’s rarely what, especially in these sensitive situations, but doesn’t need to be a super sensitive situation for this to happen. It doesn’t need to be a breakup. Extreme story. I can see this happening. So when I when I talk about my stomach, like I’ve always had problems with my stomach and every time, for whatever reason, like I say, I’m not really feel like working today. My stomach hurts and everyone gets super excited about stomach pain for whatever reason. I guess everyone can relate to it. And everyone always starts giving me advice, like, have you tried fasting? Have you tried drinking more water or have you tried this? Have we tried that like. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Can I just have my stomach pain and be left alone?

[00:25:19] I think what was painful for me at that time when someone said you can’t give advice, is that I could I felt like I couldn’t be useful and I felt like the knowledge that I have is not being used somehow. So is there a good time to give advice?

[00:25:33] Yes. So I think the crucial part is it’s similar to when it’s good time to change the topic or not.

[00:25:38] It is to feel and I know this is a fluffy word, but feel the energy like if there is a lot of emotional words going on, if there is a lot of the tone of voice, it’s like if I was very sad at the time when I was talking about your hand on these emails, that’s a really bad time. But let’s say we would have talked about it for 30 minutes and I would have done have asked you, do you think this is a good idea? Then that would have been a perfect time for you to share your advice or your perspective or let’s say you have a very strong opinion about this and you really believe that this is a bad thing and you really want to help me, then when I have been exploring this, when I’ve been sharing my emotions and and there is less energy in the air, and you would actually think that I have value to give you here, would you would you want to hear my perspective or do you feel confident in in your approach? Because then you’re kind of inviting me to at least say, I’m sorry, I’m not open for feedback right now. Right.

[00:26:47] So to summarize what you said before, you give advice, make sure that the other person have expressed themselves fully and energy is less intense or that they straight out ask you for the.

[00:26:59] But then I don’t think it is very rarely that idea to give advice. But it’s so crucial to know the difference between this. And it’s subtle, but it makes a huge difference.

[00:27:11] Right. Let’s look at another mistake while at this example. Let’s say that you are really sad about this heartbreak and I’m trying to cheer you up. I’m trying to say, come on, man, it’s going to be all right. Yeah, I think that’s pretty common. What will happen to you if I did that?

[00:27:26] Ok, so let’s let’s pretend that that’s what happened. We’re out walking in Los Angeles and I’m really sad. And you start talking about all the other girls that I could see. You’re like, hey, life is going to be so much better than you know and whatnot. I would feel the same way, like it feels I’m not really allowed to be sad. You’re I’m supposed to feel better so that you can have more fun. You’re not really it’s not OK for me to be in those emotions that I am. So something wrong with me. And I think I think that’s a crucial part. It’s something wrong with me for being sad. I’m supposed to change. I’m boring for being sad. I should be fun so you and I can have go out and party in bars in Los Angeles. And I think that’s a it’s another crucial thing with cheering up that when someone is really sad or when something is really painful or whatever, it’s crucial to let them be there. And that doesn’t mean that that’s that’s a tricky trick. How do you know when you should share someone up there?

[00:28:32] So I want to highlight that this is a nuance. This is not a huge mistake, but I think it’s clearly a worse option than asking questions, for example. So sharing up, I don’t really share someone up at all if they are not feeling good. If someone is already happy, I might try to make them happier. But I’m not never trying to take someone from being side to being happy.

[00:29:04] It’s actually a good point. I’m trying to think of a way where I know that you, my fiance, and so you listen, we’re back together, we were apart for four months and that’s sending emails, but actually a brilliant thing. And she’s pregnant. That’s a big thing. And but you’re right. I don’t think they’re actually but she really likes to be shared up, but I’m not sure if that’s so. She thinks that I should share up more often. I’m not quite sure when there is a good time or if it’s a good time or if it’s just it’s a short cut, like you’re making someone feel better in the moment. But personally, I believe that they will feel worse later on. And for people who don’t want to deal with the sadness, I can see it’s good that someone comes, hey, let’s put on the music, let’s party and have fun, but that they will then enjoy the moment but probably get a sadness hangover in a sense.

[00:30:03] I think so too. Yeah.

[00:30:06] Yeah, it’s hard. I like I like to watch Sadness hangover because let’s say you’re at the break up and you come to my house and you are sad and I say let’s drink ten beers and go to a bar. We’re going to feel happy in the moment, but you’re not going to be able to process your breakup. So instead you’re going to be a little bit sad all the time for maybe a year instead of being intensely sad for a couple of days and then be fine.

[00:30:29] Yeah. And I’m going to be lonely. And my sadness that if you were like sitting with me, like, OK, Eric, let’s let’s talk about this. Just be sad then. I would have companionship in my sadness. But if you are just want to party or just go out and meet other people or whatever, then I might be able to change it when I’m with you. But then when I’m home alone, I’m going to feel like shit and be very sad anyway. And I, I wouldn’t be able to reach out to you and have someone to talk about it with.

[00:30:58] Yeah. You feel like you have no good friend. So if you’re listening to this, please be the good friend instead of sharing someone up. Yeah.

[00:31:05] Yeah. This is subtle. I like to just say that it’s a nuance. It’s it’s a less crucial mistake than stories topping, but at the same time, it happens so much more important situations.

[00:31:19] Yeah, all right, so let’s move on to topic number four, which how do you stop making these mistakes?

[00:31:33] So, Eric, what is the next step someone can take to stop making these mistakes if you want to get better in conversations and get a better understanding of this?

[00:31:45] I believe a good place to start is to try to be aware of the kind of tricks your mind is playing when you’re in a conversation. Try to be aware that when someone is telling a story that you might already have started answering and going with your story before they are done talking. And if you’re doing that, which I’ve done a lot and still do altercations, you’re not even listening to the other person. So you’re already showing for yourself that I’m not at all interested in his or her story. I want to share my story. So could this practice this in every conversation that you’re in and be aware of what your your thought pattern is? I’d say that’s where where I would start. Where where would you start?

[00:32:34] I like that approach, really pay attention to your mind, and if you’re someone that talks a lot in conversations, maybe talk a little bit less and spend the extra time absorbing yourself, looking at your thoughts like what is happening in my mind when someone else is speaking. I like that approach. Get to know yourself better.

[00:32:54] Get to know yourself better. I think that’s something that a lot of people talk about in social media, like it’s important to get to know yourself without really explaining what that means. And I’d say that this is a really good way of getting to know yourself better understanding like, OK, how am I actually interacting in in conversations? What am I doing and why am I doing it? Because I believe a lot of these social behaviors is automatic habits are just imagining, imagining immediately switching the topic to our ever or we go to sharing up because that’s what our parents used to do when we were kids, or we’d store it up because that’s what our what our brothers or sisters used to do. And none of these are bad intentions behind them. It’s just what we have learned and we’re doing them. So I wasn’t even aware of that. I was doing this for the first twenty eight years of my life. I’ve never thought about this. But once I realized that these things exist, I. I did them all the time and suddenly like, oh shit, I did that again. Oh, I do that again. So I think a crucial part here is, is to be aware and. If you’re not aware in the movie, let’s say you I know you do this a lot, like you reflect on the conversations. How do you how do you do that?

[00:34:15] Right. So after I had a conversation, you should have looked back at it if I have some time and I said, did I do any of these things?

[00:34:25] Because the thing is, like you said, all of these mistakes are just habits. So even if you are aware of them now, you’re still going to make those mistakes. But don’t worry, you’re going to do them from a different level of understanding. So maybe you’re going to make a little bit fewer of them. And fewer of them. And fewer of them.

[00:34:42] Yeah, I like to keep that could be an advice for for next week as well, because we’re doing another episode next week where we’re going to talk more about specific techniques you can use to ask better questions and how you feel the energy. But until then, you look at what’s going on in your mind and also look at whenever you’ve had an important conversation or any conversation replaying it and say, OK, did I do these things or did someone else do these things? Because you can also notice what other people do and learn from that. And if you apply this over and over, you’re going to become an amazing conversationalist and it’s going to impact every relationship of your life.

[00:35:20] It’s going to help your career. You are going to have much better time with your girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever. And everything is going to be better, I promise.

[00:35:31] Be a conversation, detective. I like that word.

[00:35:34] So what can you give us one last piece of value before we wrap this up today?

[00:35:40] Ok, let’s give one last piece of value. So for you listening. If you want to improve your life and make it better and happier, then don’t waste the time when you’re going back and forth to school or work or whatever it is, make sure that you’re listening to something that you’re learning new things from. And either that is an audio book or that is a podcast and preferrable leads to becoming great outcome podcasts because we have a lot of good things. And if you haven’t listened to all of our episodes, I think we’ve done 75 episodes until now. So when you see that bus coming, when you’re heading to work or you’re stepping into the car, pick up your phone. You start a signal like, yeah, now it’s time to learn. Now it’s time to use this time well and make my life better. So this is the last golden nugget for today. Make sure that you’re not wasting the time back and forth to work. And if someone wants to help them, what can they do that?

[00:36:42] Oh, please help us. And a really good way to help us is to subscribe to this podcast because we are quite small podcast for now. We’re going to get you a check soon, Suge. Yeah, and we were going to do that is to get into different top lists. And the way you get into top list is if you have a lot of subscribers compared to the amount of juice. So subscribing to us can really help us get into different top lists. And I also want to say a big thank you to all the people that have already subscribed. We can see ourselves slowly climbing up the ranks and that makes us very motivated to move forward. So thank you.

[00:37:19] Thank you, guys. And see you next week to learn more about the specific techniques to use to ask brilliant questions. Cheers. Beautiful by.